I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
