we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
home. puking in laundry basket.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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