I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
this just has baby written all over it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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