Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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