I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize