just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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