Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
