Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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