he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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