woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize