We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
