I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
