He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
