i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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