Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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