May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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