hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
