i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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