i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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