As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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