I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
