I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize