Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
