Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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