What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
