Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
this will be a night to untag.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
