You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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