New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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