A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize