He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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