its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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