And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
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she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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