Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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