Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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