Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
