So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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