Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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