i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
