I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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