Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
