You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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