Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
