I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Text me some of your sweat
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
