Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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