Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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