If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
