he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
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We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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