Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
