I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No subtext here. People are naked.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I woke up under a house in Key West
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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