I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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