my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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