woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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