i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
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it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
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You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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