With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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