if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
