Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
