please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
