We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
