Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
