She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
