I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
