So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
